Permission to Dream

As I scan my blog I am disappointed in myself for the sporadic postings and the amount of time since I posted last. I remind myself of the illness I’ve been fighting for a year and a half, but I am still discouraged. When I got sick, so much in my life fell by the wayside. The most important thing to me was making it through each day. But I have come far and I am so thankful for the Lord’s grace in my life. And I now I have a passion. 

Have you ever experienced something that makes you so completely happy? Something that keeps drawing you back to it, no matter what happens? That’s how photography is to me. I am here again, drawn to this passion and this dream. 

I have been observing people. My coworkers that are graduating and heading off to pursue their dreams. They can go anywhere and do exactly what they want. And they believe it wholeheartedly. The blogs I visit online where people take the plunge and follow their dreams, even if other people think they’re crazy. But here I am, terrified. I spend hours online looking at graduate and professional schools in my field. It seems safe. Known. Familiar. Less terrifying. The kind of career path that parents would be happy to brag on. But then there’s this thing. It keeps coming back and drawing me in. And I can’t move forward without giving it a shot. Why is it that everyone else I see is so fearless and so ready to pursue their dreams? Why do they believe they can do it and I don’t believe I can? 

So here it is…I want to be a photographer. I want to give it a shot. I want to at least say I tried. Because that is what makes me completely happy. And today I give myself permission to pursue this dream.